So it was that I found a summer afternoon’s glow might last through a gray winter, like moments of love called to mind during a long separation.
Photo Challenge: Glow
Photo Challenge: Glow
A sky the color of smoke broods over the docks of an East Coast city, as Terry Malloy (Marlon Brando) sleepwalks through indifferent days unloading freight in the landmark 1950s film, On the Waterfront. He coulda’ been a contender, could have been somebody—as he confides in his brother—but now, let’s face it, he’s just a bum. His prospects look to be nil, until fortune lends a hand. As the film’s story unfolds, Terry’s path crosses that of a young woman he had known when they were kids in the neighborhood.
With her aura of unsullied idealism, Edie Doyle (Eve Marie-Saint) seems as out of place as a lily of the fields amidst the gritty world of the docks, the musty bars with separate ladies’ entrances, and the working class row houses crowded together like cell blocks. Angelic appearance to the contrary, she is not a delicate flower. Committed to her sense of what is right, and undaunted in trying to find out who is responsible for her brother’s murder, she forces the parish priest to confront reality: the prayers of distant men will never right the wrongs.
Through their growing relationship, Edie brings Terry back to life, spiritually and morally. Viewing himself through her eyes, he reclaims his identity from the shadows of self-doubt. He challenges the very forces who rendered him a nobody, and, in so doing, renews himself. The faith between men and women shines in a murky and corrupt world.
The character of Edie is really the fulcrum for the actions of Terry and the priest in On the Waterfront. Her resolve imbues them with the strength and courage to take action against the corruption controlling the docks. In the 1950s, this was a remarkable feminine movie role. In this instance, art provided a counter vision to the restricted identity available to women in American culture at that time, and a window into the future.
Like millions of other Americans, I hit the road this 4th of July weekend in search of…and found this tranquil cove along the Au Sable River in northern Michigan. When I was a boy, my grandfather would take me to this secluded locale on summer vacations. I can still feel his presence during my re-visits.
The air conditioner’s steady whirring was the only sound in the room. “And why do you think,” my therapist said in the modulated tone she used for this kind of question, “that you have such strong memories of your 6th grade teacher, Mr. Mason, after all this time?”
A silver sliver of light had found a path between the drawn curtains and fell across the carpet. I started to say something about Mr. Mason being my first male teacher, but no, that seemed too pat. I let my thoughts go where they might and a memory appeared in my mind, as if on a movie screen. This sometimes happened when I talked with Dr. Monticello, but then I am a movie fan, so no surprise. The scene took a minute to come into focus. My therapist shifted in her leather chair, waiting for me to proceed. Her eyes were a little more intent than usual, as she leaned forward slightly. I noticed she was wearing blue eye shadow. Maybe a new perfume, also.
“There was an evening back then, “ I began. “I was sitting in my bedroom with the door half closed, reading. I heard my father coming down the stairs from his study. My mother called us for dinner.”
“Excuse me, you were in sixth grade at this time?”
“Yes, I was eleven.”
As my story began to unfold to me—and to my therapist—it drew me back in time, to my childhood home in the suburb of Naperville, just west of Chicago, More than 40 years fell away, as if in a dissolve shot in a film, as I vividly recalled one eventful day.
In my memory, the reds and oranges and golds had taken over the woods at the end of our street. But that fall day, what we used to call Indian summer had stopped by for a brief visit, bringing a reminder of late summer warmth before winter’s chill set in.
I had walked home from school at the usual time and spent the next couple of hours in my room immersed in a biography of Patrick Henry, the orator who had touched the American Revolution with fire. I had memorized his most famous lines, and would sometimes close the door so I could recite them dramatically without being the target of derision. “Caesar had his Brutus, Charles 1st his Cromwell, and George 3rd….may profit by their example!” That afternoon, I could not concentrate on the book, being too keyed up about a television show coming up that evening in which I was to have a starring role—I hoped.
I had spent the previous weekend at the library, reading up on the election campaign for Illinois’ governor. I was developing a keen interest in politics, which made me feel kind of strange because none of my friends was similarly inclined. A good kind of strange, though.
I admired the young Democratic governor, who was running for re-election. He had a Kennedyesque image. He, or more likely his ad men, had hit on the idea of a television call-in show where he would field questions from viewers. It was my plan to phone in a question and my hope to have it read on TV. It was the closest I could get to talking with a political leader then, but in the future, who knew?
My mother called, “Dinner is now being served…in the main dining hall.” This was a favorite saying of hers, as if perhaps she were a lady in a Scottish castle. I heard my father getting up from the desk in his study and then coming downstairs. When I got to the dinner table, my little brother was already there. The family collie had followed her nose to a place across the room. “Just for tonight, we will have the television on,” my mother said, and smiled at me. She was setting aside one of her strictest rules—no watching TV at dinner.
My mother had made steak pie, which I knew was one of her favorite recipes. The tenderloin, pastry, and gravy made a deliciously rich combination, to be washed down with iced tea flavored with lemon and honey. I noticed this change from our usual basic fare. The dinner passed in silence, as usual, with the exception of my mother’s question to each of us about our day in school. My father focused his attention on the dinner before him, occasionally glancing up at the television set, which emitted a low hum in the corner.
When the program with the Governor came on, I went over and turned up the volume. He was seated at a table across from the news reporter, his posture being a concession to his having lost a leg in the war—at Guadalcanal, I had read. The call-in numbers showed at the bottom of the screen. I jotted them down, went to our phone, and dialed the first number. A woman’s voice answered and advised I would be placed on hold, but asked me not to hang up. When she came back on the line, I gave her my name and city, and then read my question to her as distinctly as I could. She said my question would be placed in a queue. I thought the British expression odd, but I thanked her and returned to the dinner table.
The reporter read questions from the stack of cards that had been handed to him, and the governor answered each in turn. The hands on the clock on our dining room wall seemed to be moving too quickly. I was beginning to think my question would go unanswered. My mother was just starting to clear the dishes, when the reporter said, “Governor, now we have a question for you from Naperville.” My heart picked up its pace, and we all turned to the television.
“Jeff Wolinski asks you,” the reporter began, garbling my last name of Wallace.
The garbled name had no sooner left his lips than my father started laughing. The governor was answering, but I could not hear what he was saying, as my father loudly continued, “Wolinski, what kind of name is that? Wolinski, does he think we’re Polish, maybe?”
In a flash of anger and desperation, I turned to my father and asked, “Can you please be quiet. I want to hear what he says.”
My father’s face flushed crimson. “Don’t you EVER talk to me in that tone. I am your father and you will not talk to me like that. Do you read me?”
I looked to my mother, but her eyes were cast down. Tears welled up in my eyes, tears of anger and humiliation. I wanted very badly to throw my glass of iced tea in my father’s face and the thought scared me.
“Now, you go to your damn room, mister,” my father said. “And I mean now!”
I trudged off to my bedroom, my stomach in a knot. I had not heard a word of my question or the Governor’s answer. I closed the door behind me softly, but pretended I was slamming it with all my might. I choked on my tears.
On the nightstand, the biography of Patrick Henry remained open. Outside, the last streaks of red were fading in the western sky. I turned on the light, picked up the book, and started reading. In a moment, I was back in the Virginia Assembly in 1775.
When I finished my story, the memory dissolved and I was back in my therapist’s office. My stomach was still knotted. My therapist’s expression showed her concern. After pushing the box of Kleenex across the table that separated us, she said, “I’m very impressed that you were able to tell me that story.”
“Thank you,” I replied.
She unfolded her hands. “I’m afraid that our time is up now, Take a couple minutes to collect your thoughts, if you like. We can go into this more next time.”
When I was leaving, she said, “I’ll see you next week.” She gave my hand a squeeze, which she had not done before.
Copyright 2015 by Tom Schultz. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express consent from this blog’s author is prohibited.
My Grandmother MacEwen I knew late in her life, when she was hobbled by arthritis and worn from decades as a coal miner’s wife. “Son, I’m getting aw’fy gimpy in my old age,” she would tell me in her Scottish burr. She lived three times zones west of us and so her visits were a rare gift. My uncle drove across the empty expanse of the Canadian prairie in his British-made car, with my grandmother, as I imagined, a stoic passenger. Uncle Tam made the trek across three provinces and five states in three days, which was a marvel to me when I became old enough to drive. “We always make Winnipeg by sundown,” he assured me. Eight hundred miles separated their home in the foothills of the Canadian Rockies from that urban outpost sprouting in the Manitoba wheat fields.
My grandmother’s appearance spoke of a life far removed from that of my more prosperous relatives in Detroit. Lizzie, as my uncle called her, wore her iron gray hair pulled back in a bun, although a few disobedient strands escaped the control of her hair pins. Her face was deeply wrinkled, with her upper lip pulled up as if she had a stroke years ago. Usually, a rumpled, charcoal gray dress hung loosely about her, and varicose veins showed plainly beneath her nylons. Her slippers were a concession to the bunions on her feet.
Grandma MacEwen could be abrasive: critical, even spiteful toward my uncle and my mother. But, to her grandson she was the most honestly emotional person in the family. While our home was so often silent and bleak, in her rare stays Grandma brought with her recognition and affection for me. I often puzzled, as I grew older, over these two sides to her character.
Revealing a slice of family history one day, my mother told me of Grandma MacEwen’s youth, growing up in the Scottish town of Dunfermline at the turn of the 20th century. Her father was a miner, taking the tram car down into the coal dungeons, working hunched over from can’t see to can’t see. At the local grade school, bright-eyed young Lizzie was a top student, held in high regard by her teachers. “Aye, the wee lass shows promise.”
To my grandmother’s misfortune, childhood was not a luxury that a coal miner’s family could afford. The day Lizzie finished sixth grade, her father told her that school was a waste of time for girls. My grandmother, then 11 years-old, would start her job in the textile factory near Pittencrief.
Now, as I think about that long ago conversation with my mother, I picture diminutive Lizzie dwarfed by the power looms. The gauzy lint hangs in the air. Her lunch has to be gobbled while she is standing. Her fingers are sore, always. Perhaps she is not nimble enough, and the straw boss whacks her with his switch. “You’ll no be loafin’ around this job like a store dug!”
Tending her machines, she often thinks of her days in school, being called on, writing on the blackboard, then basking in her teacher’s praise. She recalls her father’s blunt words that took her schooldays away–the back of his hard hand across her face when she protested. She brushes the floating lint from her face. The resentment, the cold impotent rage, she buries deep inside.
As a teenager, she graduates from the factory to marry a coal miner. Young Mike is an adventurous lad, and they try their luck across the water in Canada. They settle in a coal mining town on the banks of the Saskatchewan River, surrounded by the wilderness. He works hard in the mine, earning a promotion to pit boss; she bears three children and two survive. There is enough money for groceries, but sometimes not enough coal to heat the cramped wooden house, so the eggs freeze in the cupboard. Christmas gifts for the children are out of the question, except for a few oranges in their stockings. She watches her son stricken with a mysterious spinal ailment, which leaves him partly crippled because there is no money for fancy, big-city doctors. She wonders if her husband will come home safely from the mines. He always does, but two of her cousins are not so lucky.
This childhood, this life, this fate, might wear many people out. It did grind down many people into despair. My grandmother, however, kept a spark alive. She was the one who picked up her family from western Canada during the Depression and moved them to Scotland so her husband could find work. Later, she brought them back to Canada when the coal industry revived, though on the return voyage she kept a wary lookout for Nazi U-boats lurking in the north Atlantic.
And in her old age, amidst the bitterness that infected her, but did not consume her, she found within herself a well of affection to bequeath to a grandson. In return, she especially appreciated hearing how well he was doing in school.
The windows of the student union looked out through the overhanging branches of stately elms. Through a gap in the trees, Lake Mendota appeared, sparkling in the sunshine. The breeze had kicked up some whitecaps on the blue-green water and a sprinkling of sailboats coasted with the wind.
At first, I thought it was just my imagination, but a familiar tune floated above the hubbub of the crowd. This song, the poetry of chance and loss, sung to the chords of an acoustic guitar, had been one of our favorites in the dorm a few years back. Catching the lyrics of the last verse, I smiled and said to myself, “Yep, back in Madison.”
The dark wood paneling of the room absorbed the light coming in, so faces were vague until my eyes adjusted. When I scanned the room again, I noticed her sitting alone, apparently engrossed in a book. She was wearing jeans split to create bell-bottoms and a black blouse, open with a v-neck, a choice I had always appreciated, as it set off her violet-blue eyes. She wore her dark brown hair longer than I remembered, not loose but tucked beneath a silk lavender scarf. On the wooden table, a coffee cup sat off to one side, next to an open notebook. A leather purse, decorated with jade jewelry, apparently of some American Indian design, hung from her chair.
A long minute’s hesitation, then I found myself walking in the direction of her table, turning over in my mind whether to say hello—pretending to myself that I had a choice. After closing the book, she put down her glasses and rubbed her eyes. She untied the scarf and then ran her fingers through her hair. Slipping the scarf inside the purse, she started to get up.
I blurted out, “Hi, Natalie.” The beer on my tray chose that moment to slide and I had to manage a neat balancing act to avoid dousing a girl at the next table.
Natalie Mariposa looked in my direction. After a moment, she smiled as if she had been expecting me. “Well?” She gestured to the empty spot next to her and eased back into her chair.
Natalie had made up my mind for me, as it seemed she always had. As at our first meeting, she still reminded me of a young Elizabeth Taylor. Since nothing profound or even the least bit cool came to mind, I said, “This is quite a coincidence.”
“Howdy, stranger. I saved a seat for you.” Again the smile. “For three years.”